Chofesh, Cherut, Racachim
by Queequg471
Summary: He didn't really forget any of the times she belittled, insulted, or emasculated him. But it wouldn't really make a difference now, and it certainly wouldn't change how it ended. Repost.
1. Hatchala

**A/N: I will not be taken down by fanfiction . net! This is a repost of my old story. I don't have possession of all of it, because I wrote it midway through getting a new laptop. I will ask my cowriter, but I don't hold out too much hope. This was taken down because it had the word "b-tch" in the title. Seriously? I lost all of your lovely comments!**

_Chapter 1: Hatchala (The Beginning)_

_It didn't start out this way. And it wasn't supposed to end this way. Looking back, Tony couldn't positively identify when it began, but it was sure turning out to be a spectacular finale._

_She was not the type of woman to go down quietly or without a fight._

_July_

Shayla Jordan was the perfect woman for Tony DiNozzo. She was smart, beautiful, and she picked up obscure movie references. She didn't give him crap about the hours he had to work, or the dates he had to postpone, and didn't get either grossed out or overly excited about his work.

It wasn't long before most of their free time was spent with one another, to the point that they did their grocery shopping and laundry together.

She didn't make any demands – which was good. He was still Tony DiNozzo. But when he was away from her, he had the unfamiliar sense of being alone, which didn't used to suck.

_September_

She moved in.

_December_

It was a water leak in her apartment. Tony hadn't meant to move quite that fast (no lobotomy), but when a woman in distress asked him for help, well…Let it never be said that Tony did not help a damsel in distress. Especially one that looked that good in a nurse's outfit.

It seemed to work perfectly at first. The only thing that really changed was the convenience factor – no more commute to sex.

_January_

Tony always put off introducing a new woman to his team. The _best_ she could hope for was that a case would call them away mid-interrogation. The fact that she survived a full two hours with them, including a detailed description of what Abby was capable of (which still made Tony flinch), was a testament to how right this woman was for him.

She wasn't even intimidated by the silent ex-Mossad agent glaring at her from across the table. She seemed to have no problem with the women Tony worked so closely with every day, despite the fact that Abby jumped him when he walked through the door. Instead, she greeted Abby warmly, and asked her where she got her boots.

The only problem that night was Tony was worried Ducky was going to try to steal his woman. Tony was good, but he didn't know how to compete with the Duck-man.

_February_

He's not sure exactly when it started.

_June_

He couldn't fault her logic. He did have a physically demanding job, and he wasn't in the best physical shape anymore. He'd always attributed that to the plague, but she was right. Too many pizzas and his love affair with carbs were wreaking havoc on his metabolism. Hell, even Probie was slim-Tim now.

He could work out a little more, and eat a little healthier.

McGee made a comment about it, the next time the team (minus Gibbs, of course) went out, but the conversation quickly turned to Ziva and her father – he was apparently regretting his decision to let his best asset go. He was trying to talk Director Vance into letting the operative he trained work for Mossad again.

It wasn't anything Tony was really worried about – she was a US citizen, and Gibbs wouldn't let anything happen to her again.

_August_

Gibbs did have to save his ass more than once. Shayla was right to…suggest he work a little harder. He just wished she hadn't been such a bitch about it.

_September_

He didn't want to lose her. She was right – she had stuck with him for more than a year now, and she deserved a little give on his part. It couldn't hurt to forgo his trip with the boys to spend time with her.

And he did spend every day with his team, so a few cancellations for after-work drinks weren't a big sacrifice. She was right about that too.

Besides – Ziva's problems with her father were taking up more time. There weren't as many invitations as there used to be.

_October_

It kind of hurt to realize that he had _always_ been the one to initiate team get-togethers. No one seemed to want to hang out with him unless _he _suggested it. Maybe it was best to stay home with Shayla.

_November_

The names hurt. He didn't like it shoved in his face exactly how much of a screw-up he was. Gibbs and his father took care of that just fine.

But hell. Didn't he call people names now and then?

He still called Probie…Probie. And McGoo. And McGoogle. And McTattle.

It just wasn't the same as shithead, useless prick, and fuck-up.

_December_

It wasn't really necessary to take the mail key away. It was only the one time he forgot to tell her about that bill, and he paid the fine.

But it was her home too, she'd lived here for more than a year, and if she wanted to take that responsibility off his back, fine.

_January_

He didn't really want a joint account. After watching his father milk one woman after another out of their hard earned money, he knew it was a bad idea. But it wasn't worth the fight.

_He could go in to more detail, of course. He didn't really forget any of the times she belittled, insulted, or emasculated him. But it wouldn't really make a difference now, and it certainly wouldn't change how it ended._


	2. Shinuy

**A/N: Wow, this story is getting a warm welcome back. Again, if ANYONE saved this story to their computers, I am missing many chapter because of fanfiction . net's LOVELY intervention, so please let me know!**

**(~~~)**

Nobody noticed at first, because really, what was there to notice?

Murder, death, banter, drinks with friends, Gibbs-slaps, and the ever-present McNames were there just as they had always been, just as they always would be, and nothing and everything was different.

Sometimes, Tony couldn't believe he had been with the same woman for over a year. You see, if you ask Tony, he'll never admit it, but Tony The Italian Gigolo (that particularly loving nickname still reared its ugly head on occasion) didn't quite think of himself as Don Juan. There had to be a reason for the revolving door of women in his life, right? And the chances that there was something wrong with every single one of them were, admittedly, slim, so it only stood to reason that Tony was the problem. Don't use the term "low self esteem", remember, that crap sounds like a freaking therapy session.

And Shayla was, by all accounts, perfect. Never in his life did Tony have such a steady stream of prepared dinners whenever he got home, never had there been such a short commute to sex (never lose sight of what was important), and in a completely girly way, it was nice to have a warm body curled in his arms after a hard day, not pressing for the gory details.

Yes, life was good. And Tony certainly didn't expect Shayla to play the part of the 50's housewife, all frilly aprons and "yes dears", so the fact that she would interject her opinion was something Tony was sure he would come to appreciate.

Which is why he found himself skimping on portions of the food he used to love. And hitting the gym slightly more than he was accustomed to. And maybe going for a few less drinks with the team, because apparently, too much alcohol could actually be bad for you (he hadn't known Shayla to be so sarcastic previously, but as always, she was right).

Now, looking back, if you asked Tony, he would never say it was easy. He was hungry all the time, which didn't really make for good workouts (_"being too much of a weakling to lift those means you have to go more." Jokingly, of course_), and his friends did start to look hurt when he started turning them down again and again. Even Ziva. Especially Ziva. Her face was stony silent, but Tony could see the hurt flashing across her eyes, and his conscience warred with itself

_She finally feels wanted. Why are you trying to take that from her?_

_Oh, so now I'm responsible for making sure she feels all warm and fuzzy?_

_She's your partner._

_Yeah, she's really been doling out the social interaction recently._

**(~~~)**

Tony didn't check himself out in the mirror much. Less so recently. But on the odd occasion that he did, he definitely had lost weight. Well, Shayla could count that a victory, right?

Problem is, Tony had been getting more forgetful as the weight dropped. He had lost a phone bill. Just one, but you never know what one might mean. So Shayla had taken his mailbox key. Saving him from himself really. He was lucky he had her to do that, wasn't he?

And not just that, he'd been finding it harder to keep up with Ziva's brisk pace as she moved deftly about the crime scene. By the time they even got to the top of a particularly large hill (psycho couldn't have killed the Petty Officer a little closer to the earth's surface? Seriously, he could touch Mars from the top of that hill). Some little voice that Tony worked to squash told him that he should be getting stronger, not weaker, but it wasn't just Tony who wanted this. It was important to Shayla too.

Which is why, when Tony strode into Ducky's lab, it didn't particularly make any sense to him when the older man looked at him with the oddest look.

"My dear boy, whatever have you been doing?"

_Remember that Tony doesn't know when it started. Ducky was simply the first one he could recall noticing. Not something he likes to think about._

"What do you mean, Ducky? Just been dropping a few extra pounds. Just because this guy's settled a bit doesn't mean this body's gotta go by the wayside."

Ducky clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "Well, I certainly concur on the fact that you have lost weight. It's noticeable."

As the older man went into the details of the final moments of Petty Officer Sculder (no, Tony did not rise above the obvious X-Files joke. There are certain things that never disappear from a person's character), Tony reviewed his current situation in his head. Maybe a few drinks with the team now and then wouldn't hurt. This was the best job he'd ever had, and really, the team's camaraderie was an important part of that.

Shayla, however, had different insights on that. "Really, Tony? The twelve-hour days you spend with your team aren't enough for you or them?"

Point, he had to concede. Besides, after that, Shayla had shimmied ever closer to him – wearing the apron he had picked out – and things get a little fuzzy in Tony's memory on that particular day.

The next day, however, it does occur to him that Ducky may have mentioned something to Gibbs, because he feels his boss' serious blue eyes on him even more than normal, and it may be just his imagination, but the slaps come a little less often.

And Tony, being Tony is instantly on his guard, but then he realizes, Ducky couldn't have told Gibbs anything significant, because there is nothing significant is going on. Much ado about nothing (Richard Briers, Kate Beckinsale, great flick, if a bit outdated).

**(~~~)**

It's important to remember, as I'm sure you've noticed, that Tony did not see this coming. If he had, he would have handled things differently, that's for sure. Enough shit went down to make him seriously skittish of – well, you know what of. And sure, in true Anthony DiNozzo fashion, he blames himself, although he has been told over and over this is not his fault. But she went down, and he was hurt. Not Tony, of course. That'd be too simple. Loyalty really sucked sometimes, and while it'd be simple to think it was just him and Shayla at the beginning and that's how it'd be at the end, things rarely work out that way.

They did end with a bang, however. Big fucking curtain call.

**END CHAPTER**


End file.
